Self-Compassion

February invites us to celebrate love toward partners, children, friends, and community. But as mental health professionals, we’re often much better at giving care than receiving it from ourselves. Compassion is the practice of meeting pain, our own included, with kindness and curiosity instead of criticism. It’s noticing when we’re struggling and responding the way we would to someone we care about. When we turn that compassion inward, it becomes a real and tangible form of self-love.

I recently had a birthday, and I noticed how quickly self-judgment can creep in as I get older. I can replay old decisions, focus on what I wish I’d done differently, or load myself up with expectations about how I should be showing up as a clinician, parent, partner, colleague, and friend. In my work, that can look like over-functioning, pushing past my limits, or missing subtle countertransference because I’m trying to meet some internal (or external) standard. Self-compassion shifts the question. Instead of “Why am I not doing better?” it becomes, “How might I be contributing to my own burnout?”. This small pause helps me see where I’m holding unrealistic expectations or carrying stories about who I’m supposed to be.

Self-compassion isn’t about lowering the bar or letting ourselves off the hook. It’s about accountability with grace. It’s remembering we’re human and still becoming. When we soften our inner dialogue, we actually become more grounded, more authentic, and more present in both our work and our relationships. This month, I invite you to reflect: Where are you putting pressure on yourself? How might that pressure be pulling you away from your authentic self? And what would it look like to offer yourself the same compassion you so freely give to others?

Jaime Palmer, LCSW
Clinical Director
ROOTs Transition